We’ve all been in situations where we’re talking to someone and feel like they’re not really listening. Maybe they’re looking around the room, or checking their phone, or just not making eye contact. It’s frustrating, right?
Well, it turns out that being a good listener is more than just paying attention. It’s about being interested in what the other person has to say, and showing them that you care. In this article, we will discuss 9 qualities of a good listener – and how you can become one yourself!
#1 – They’re Fully Present
When you’re talking to someone, the best way to show that you’re listening is to be fully present. That means making eye contact, not being distracted by your phone or anything else, and really focusing on what the other person is saying.
It can be hard to do this all the time, but it’s worth it. The other person will feel like you’re really interested in what they have to say, and they’ll be more likely to open up to you.
#2 – They Don’t Listen to Respond
A lot of times, we tend to listen to someone so that we can figure out what our response will be. But if you’re really trying to understand someone, you’ll just focus on what they’re saying, without thinking about your own response.
This can be hard, especially in a debate or argument. But it’s important to try to see things from the other person’s perspective, and to really understand where they’re coming from. If you can do this, you’ll be a much better listener – and a better communicator overall.
#3 – They React in the Moment
When we’re in the middle of a conversation, it can be easy to react emotionally to what the other person is saying. But if you’re trying to be a good listener, it’s important to stay calm and level-headed. This way, you can really think about what the other person is saying – instead of just reacting emotionally.
It can be difficult to do this, but it’s worth it if you want to be a good listener. If you find yourself getting emotional, try to take a few deep breaths and focus on the other person. This will help you stay calm and really listen to what they’re saying.
#4 – They Don’t Jump to Give Advice
One of the most frustrating things you can do when someone is trying to confide in you is to immediately start giving them advice. It’s not that offering suggestions is always a bad idea, but sometimes people just need to be heard. If your friend comes to you with a problem, let them finish telling their story before you start giving your two cents. If they want your advice, they’ll ask for it.
Another thing to keep in mind is that even if you think you know the perfect solution to someone’s problem, it’s not always your place to offer it. Sometimes people just need to vent and don’t necessarily want or need your help.
#5 – They Never Interrupt
Another frustrating things you can do when someone is trying to confide in you is to interrupt them. It not only shows that you’re not really listening, but it also cuts off the flow of conversation. If your friend comes to you with a problem, let them finish telling their story before you start giving your two cents.
If you’re not sure whether or not you should offer your opinion, ask if they want to hear it first. Chances are, if they really value your opinion, they’ll say yes. But if they seem hesitant or want to talk about something else, back off.
#6 – They Ask Follow-up Questions
A good listener is someone who shows they’re interested in what you have to say by asking follow-up questions. This lets the speaker know that you’re engaged in the conversation and would like to hear more.
If your friend is telling you about their day, don’t just respond with a one-word answer. Dig a little deeper and ask them how they’re feeling or what the best part of their day was.
#7 – They Show That They’re Listening
It’s not just what you say, but how you say it. If you’re interested in the conversation, face the person and make eye contact.
You can also use your body language and facial expressions to show that you care about what they’re saying. Nod your head occasionally, smile, and avoid crossing your arms or looking around the room.
It’s easy to get distracted, especially if the conversation isn’t particularly interesting to you. But if you want to be a good listener, it’s important to focus on what the person is saying and resist the urge to let your mind wander.
#8 – They’re Patient
A good listener is patient and allows the speaker to finish without interrupting them.
This can be difficult, especially if you’re eager to share your own thoughts on the matter.
But it’s important to resist the urge to jump in and wait until the person is finished before responding.
#9 – They Summarize What They’ve Heard
A good listener will periodically summarize what they’ve heard to ensure that they understand the speaker correctly.
This shows that you’re paying attention and also gives the person a chance to correct you if you’ve misunderstood anything.
Benefits of Being a Good Listener
There are many benefits to being a good listener.
For one, it helps build trust and rapport with others.
People feel valued when they know that you’re truly listening to them and not just waiting for your turn to talk.
It also allows you to gain a deeper understanding of the people you communicate with and learn more about what’s important to them.
Lastly, being a good listener can make you more successful in both your personal and professional life.
Listening is at the heart of any good relationship. By taking the time to understand what the other person is saying, we can foster understanding, trust and communication. It’s not always easy to be a good listener – it takes patience, practice and sometimes a bit of humility – but the rewards are worth it.
We hope you will take these qualities to heart and make an effort to become a better listener in your own life. What has been your experience with listening? Has it helped or hindered your relationships? Let us know in the comments below!